Trisha Paytas runs for Congress while Timothée and Kylie dominate the headlines.
D.C. goes viral.
Read the original reportPublished Jan 10, 2026
D.C. goes viral.
Read the original report
Lights, camera, legislation!
Check the ballot, check the fit.
Trisha’s in the lobby with a pink podium,
Mixing up the census with some high-grade sodium.
Milo’s on the floor, Kylie’s in the gallery,
Timothée is tax-exempt?
Add it to his salary.
We’re trading policy for personality,
Manifesting bills into a new reality.
It’s a Hill takeover, yeah, the House is a set,
Passing bills in sequins, paying off the national debt.
Vote for the glam, vote for the clout,
If you aren't trending, get the hell out!
Filibuster?
No, just a Tik
Tok dance.
Changing the constitution in some leather pants.
From the red carpet to the Red State swing,
If the Wi-Fi’s down, we don't pass a thing!
See you at the inauguration...
bring a ring light.
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