A crystal flute and a silver tray
But the newsroom's looking more like a cabaret
He’s spilling the tea and a whole lot of gin
While the suits in the back wonder where to begin
It was fun for a minute, the ratings were high
But the anchor is blurry and the network is dry
Oh, Andy, put the bottle down
You’re the king of gossip but the newsroom’s a town
That doesn't want the drama or the midnight slur
Just a little less tequila and a lot more blur
From the Bravo clubhouse to the Times Square stage
They’re ready to turn the final page
He’s roasting the mayors and the rivals too
While Anderson’s giggling like he’s got nothing to do
But the memo is out and the vibe is getting cold
The 'embarrassment' narrative is taking hold
You can’t be the face of the hard-hitting facts
When you’re doing shots and losing your tracks
Is it a party or a press release?
When does the midnight madness cease?
They want the prestige, they want the crown
But they’re tired of the circus coming to town
One more toast for the road, my friend
Before the broadcast meets a bitter end
Check the teleprompter, check your glass
Some things are too messy to let 'em pass
Keep the Housewives, lose the news
CNN’s got those morning-after blues
Yeah, they’ve got those hungover blues.
