Boss got a health bar, I got a crayon,
Stick figure with trust issues, come watch me slay on—
Drew a sword in three seconds, wobbly line, slightly bent,
Held it up to the dragon like, "This is what art class meant!"
He sniffs it, unimpressed, I'm sweating through my headset,
My kill count's on a curve and I ain't passed the test yet.
Stick figure with trust issues
Fighting monsters built for kings,
Stick figure with trust issues,
Draw faster, swing the thing!
Dragon grew a second head, so I drew a little blob,
Named it Gary, googly eyes, now he's on the job,
Gary bounced off the boss like a beach ball in the rain,
So I sketched a bigger Gary — Gary with a chain.
Final form arrived, I panicked, scribbled like a seismograph,
Is that a weapon or a graph?
And the scribble crit for ninety-nine —
Kindergarten was the tutorial all this time.
